Just an Update

The past days took its toll both on me and my family.

First, I had to stop for the second semester because I came to my senses that my efforts are becoming aimless and I already felt that Engineering just wasn't my place no matter how hard I push myself.

My mom's initial reaction was displeasing. There was dead air the whole day, we didn't talk. The next day turned out to be better because mom talked to me and I said I'll go for Architecture, the destiny I know I am for but set aside. That's the avenue where I took a wrong turn. I just took it for granted and ended up screwing a lot in my tertiary year. Dad talked to me over the phone and rebuked me for a while but advised me not to force myself to UST if I know my course will eat me up and my future will be at stake. I was able to grok my parents' concern, they were very supportive and half of my worries are done.

This week my grandma's doctor called because on Monday she had to be admitted already to perform tests for her surgery in her right breast to remove the cancerous lump. The operation didn't go swiftly because her blood pressure was high that it delayed the surgery so her stay in the hospital was extended and my mom and cousin had to take shifts in going there to watch over her. I am left at home to tend to chores and manage the house while they were away.

That was the time I realized being a parent was a tall order. Imagine being left without an allowance while being so occupied on what to eat since they were not able to do groceries. There should be rationing of food and other resources, I had to babysit Tyler, wash the dishes, take the dog outside and sometimes cook my own food. I came to a point where I had to compromise my savings for other expenses like load to call mom and know how they're doing and for the food. It required both my patience and strategy physically and emotionally in handling a random situation. I didn't complain, in fact it was more of an obligation since I am technically an out-of-school youth and I had to do this to keep myself busy.

I never thought the first week of what I thought would be of a sloth would be a challenging time. Still grateful most part of it passed smoothly and I am more looking forward to the coming days particularly this Christmas.

I also have to set an agenda and to-do lists to galvanize myself like reading novels and improving my doodles and hopefully place them in a blank Moleskine.